#22: My Quest for Composure

Experimenting with meditation

I knew this wouldn’t be easy, but my G-D is it hard to sit and calm my breathing and try not to think of all the things I could be doing if I were not trying to meditate. Clearly I need to be doing this.

My first try went like this: I thought about how in the world I would sit still for 5 minutes, I recited a list of positive mantra-type thoughts (I am happy, I am healthy, I love my husband, my kids are thriving, etcetera), I thought (accidentally) about lunch, I thought about calming my heart rate, which was racing, probably with nervousness about “wasting” precious baby-nap-time, and then I sneaked a peek at the clock. It had been 3 minutes. I decided that was enough for a first go.

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